A blog about my career as a parent.

Friday, November 30, 2007

Torture

If sleep deprivation is considered to be a form of torture, does that mean we can sue our children when they grow up? Just a thought. Can you tell that I haven't gotten much sleep lately?

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Please, TEACH YOUR KIDS and GRANDKIDS about SAFETY!

S. F. was staying late at school yesterday to work with her friend on their history project. I figured this would be the perfect time to take S. D. and Little G. grocery shopping since I had an extra hour and half before I had to be back up at the school. Okay, there's really no perfect time to take a 4 year old and an infant shopping, but this was as good as it gets.

I admit that I am a paranoid shopper when it comes to my kids. If my 12 year old isn't with me, then the 4 year old is in the basket of the cart. The only time my 4 year old gets one of those mini "customer in training" carts is on those rare occasions when it's just the two of us, and everything I need can go in that cart. I absolutely will not let her have one if I have a cart of my own and my 12 year old isn't there. I can't keep a close enough eye on her otherwise. If it's just the baby and me, my hand never leaves contact with the shopping cart. It's too easy for someone to walk off with the cart while your back is turned. I've taught my kids that if someone grabs them to scream at the top of their lungs, "YOU'RE NOT MY MOM/DAD! HELP! THIS ISN'T MY MOM/DAD!" That way other shoppers won't think it's just some brat having a temper tantrum.

So yesterday while I was shopping with S. D. and Little G. I saw a cute little girl in pigtails about 5 years old walking around the store with a "customer in training" cart. The first time I saw her there was an adult woman with a cart about 5 feet away, so I figured that was her mother and didn't think twice about it. The next time I saw her there wasn't an adult anywhere in sight. I stopped and asked her if she was lost. She looked up at me somewhat bewildered. I said, "Have you lost your mommy or daddy?" She said, "Yes."

At this point I expected some frantic woman to round the corner any moment, but no one did. I looked quickly around the next two aisles and didn't see anyone in sight, so I said, let's get you up to the front desk so we can find your mommy. She looked up at me and said, "Okay, but I want to see the horsies." Of course, because it's the Christmas season, the grocery store, the place that's supposed to be selling food, has to have giant, overstuffed horsies to sell to the little children. Who knew that the grocery store decided it had to be ToysRUs. I said, "Well, the important thing is that we find your mommy first." Of course, I was beginning to get a little paranoid. What if mommy came round the corner and thought I was trying to abduct her child. So I looked at the little girl and said come with me, we're going to find your mommy. She happily followed along with her little cart. I was now desperately looking for a Harris Teeter employee so I could let them know I had a lost child. On my way up to the customer service desk, I found an employee and told her about the little girl.

Finally the kid's caution began to kick in, and she didn't want to go with the store employee without me; so we all went up to the front desk to page the girl's parents. This is where it gets worse. This little kid only knew her first name. She had no idea what her last name was, nor did she know her parents' names. The clerk paged Maya's lost parents, and we waited. This whole time there had been no sign of anyone desperately looking for a lost little girl. The clerk paged for her parents a second and a third time. Finally grandma shows up at the front desk.

There was no sense of urgency or worry about the woman. All she said was, "This is the last time I let you have one of those little shopping carts. You can do that with your mother. Come on, we're going to be late meeting Daddy at his appointment." The clerk looked at her and said, "Is this your grandma?" The little girl nodded, and then said, "I want to go see the horsies." Now grandma asks the clerk, "What time is it?" and when the clerk told her the woman started complaining about about how she'd already wasted 40 minutes, and she was going to be late. She then tells the kid to come on, turns her back on her, and takes her groceries to the checkout, without even making certain the little girl was following her. The kid didn't make a move to follow her, and instead looks up at me and repeats that she wants to see the horses. I looked at her and said she had to go with her grandma and walked her over to the checkout line myself.

What I wanted to do was to scream at this woman for being so seemingly unconcerned about the whereabouts of her granddaughter. I wanted to yell, "What the hell is the matter with you?! Not only do you not seem to care that your 5 year old granddaughter was missing for at least 10 minutes, you're not even keeping an eye on her now! Why haven't you and her parents taught her about stranger danger?! Why doesn't she know her last name or her parents' first names? Why aren't you freaked out by any of this?!" Of course I didn't, because I had my children with me, and I didn't want to upset the little girl, but I am upset with myself for not saying more than, "Here's your granddaughter, I'm glad I found her."

I'm certain that if I had told this child to come out to the car with me to find her mommy, she would have done so. I spent the rest of my grocery trip playing "show me the store employee" with S. D.

I'm still shaken up about this and it's the next day. Please, please teach your kids about being safe.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Turkeys

Mom: Okay you two, get your jackets on while I put the baby in the car seat. We're picking up pizza, because your dad's working late, and I haven't been able to cook since the baby's been sick all day. S. F., help S. D. get her coat on. S. D. cooperate with your big sister.

S. F.: You're a turkey. (Continuation of turkey argument from earlier in the afternoon)

S. D.: You're a turkey.

S. F.: No, you are.

S. D.: No, you're the turkey!

Mom: That's it! I don't want to hear anyone call anybody a turkey another time! No more! Get out to the car. S. F., help your little sister get into her car seat. S. D. cooperate with your big sister, because I asked her to help you.

Mom: Okay, is everybody buckled? Yes? Good, let's go.

S. D.: (ever so sweetly) Mommy, I sorry I argued with my big sister and called her a turkey.

Mom: (pleasantly surprised) Why thank you, sweetheart. It's very nice of you to apologize for acting that way.

S. D.: (whispering) S. F., you're still a turkey.

Mom & S. F.: (unsuccessfully trying not to crack up) S. D., that's not nice!

S. D.: (giggles)

I think we're in major trouble.

Monday, November 26, 2007

28 More Shopping Days Until Christmas and 2/3 of the Kids Are Sick

I'm definitely doing most of my Christmas shopping via the Internet this year. S. D. and Little G. are both on antibiotics for ear infections, and now they are both coming down with colds on top of the ear thing. Another reason for not going out in public to shop is that the baby has now developed a new and interesting skill; he's able to throw up his sinus drainage all down my back without getting a speck on him. I'm on my fourth shirt today. Since I can't constantly change clothes while I'm out, I'm just staying home and ordering in so to speak. I am choosing to look on the bright side of this new skill; since he gets it all over me and not him, I don't have to dry his tender, young skin out with multiple baths per day. ;-)

As I've been watching the t.v. coverage of all the Christmas shoppers out there trying to get the best deal, I've become thoroughly disgusted. Don't get me wrong, I'm not becoming the Grinch; I think it's quite the opposite. I think as we rush around trying to buy something for everyone, we lose sight of what it is we're celebrating. I'm looking forward to spending time with my extended family on both sides, searching for the perfect tree, decorating the house with the husband and kids, playing my Trans Siberian Orchestra cd's until the kids beg me to play something else (Mommy loves Christmas music that ROCKS), and staying up late on Christmas Eve trying to get everything done at the last minute. However, I'm not looking forward to nasty, rude people pushing and shoving trying to get the last electronic gizmo that's all the rage this year.

I think we'll simplify the gift giving in the immediate family this year, trying to put careful thought into the presents for Dad and the kids. If I were a talented, creative, craft oriented person, I'd make extra special gifts from the heart for the rest of my family and friends. Since I'm none of those things, I hope that as you open your gift card or Harry and David gift basket, that you realize the good intention was there. ;-)

Merry Christmas!